We live our lives in this beautiful mess we call life… We are on a trajectory to a certain fate a means that will bring our own destiny. Destiny preordained or made…. does it mater we all end up there, on this road. Childhood for most is the time we learn and grow as people being molded into the model citizen. Each day a new moment to learn a new thing, each day building to the climax of adulthood, with the promise of being well adjusted and rounded. For some such as myself the innocence was lost at a dreadful early age, and for a decade the horror that seemed to be my life grew darker day by day. Living a parallel life with the rest of humanity I was certain that these immoral depravities were normal. Paying a penance for future sins not yet committed, at the hands of molesters and child batterers. Thus catapulting me on a path of self-destruction and brokenness, alongside normalcy. Robert Frost said “The road less traveled … I took the other, just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim because it was grassy and wanted wear, though as for that passing there had worn them really about the same.” Travel the same road but….traveling my own journey through life, trough my self made destiny of free will, each choice and action ultimately shaping my own reality. I have spent the better part of my life running from my past, my life… in a process to change my what seemed to be preordained destiny…. A statistic. I beat the paradigm long ago became a contradiction but kept running from it none the less, its shadow forever haunting me. I built a reality that I could control and manipulate to my own desire and safety. Keeping humanity at arms length to filter the pain in a cogent attempt to avoid the agony, the hurt and suffering that “might” ensue again.